4:30 pm Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Somewhere in the middle of my tough life journey

   Looking at my last messages posted on the website, I¡¯m pondering for a long time. It seems that I haven¡¯t updated the new message for ages. All of a sudden, I realize that it¡¯s been a couple of months not to do any writings on my blog site. What a slothful guy! I always tell myself to know this approach will be the best way to share something with you guys. But as a matter of fact, few guys can read my messages through this. And how many of them who read this care much about the man who are behind the words? I don¡¯t know. So this is becoming a dull thing for me and my wishful thinking is actually my inner drive to push me to continue to write something. But everytime when I speak out, I feel extremely relaxed because what I say is all the things that I want to express. Now cut it off and bring it on!

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   Sometimes when I look at my own face into the mirror, I find something¡¯s changed on my appearance. With the growing of my age, more and more wrinkles shows up on my face though I have a baby face. And my job of teaching gradually makes my face look like a fiddle without any expressions. This is the first time I feel I¡¯m older than before. No, much older. Several days before, I had a surgery of taking something bad away from my body during the 7-day vacation. And seven days are the most longest days without moving out in my life. Added to the bad mood, I figure I fell down to the bottom of my life valley. Till now, I still can¡¯t walk out of the shadow over my head. The strong feeling about staying on somewhere in the middle of my tough life journey bothers me a lot. A lot of workload makes me want to quit. I can¡¯t but I still put all the things off. So now my assignment keeps piling up and they¡¯re awaited to be done by me.

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Unconsciously, John Lennon (1940-1980) has passed away from us for 25 years. But a lot of people don¡¯t forget about him and his music. Why? Because his personality and unique viewpoint of the world and livings. His record keeps re-releasing again and again. In memories of his contribution to music and mankind, another collection called ¡°The definitive working class hero: John Lennon¡± was released on the beginning of October. I heard through the whole album at the very first time. Lots of familiar melodies came up in the air and this oldies and goodies again touched my fragile heart and soul. They can really give me the hopes to love and live. Now he passed the his soul torch on to David Tao with his music impact on DT. And DT are using the gift God send to him and torch of John Lennon to affect the next Eastern Generation, like me and the young ones who have a dream to change the world with love and hope.